Samantha Lee
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I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Wow I can't believe it's not butter. It tastes just like what I had last night right before my girlfriend turned back over.
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Plaster of Paris Makeup
When you need to really lay that makeup on thick I'd suggest using plaster of paris. You won't see any blemishes.
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Extra Hot Sauce
This sauce is so spicy that you will need to wear a diaper beforehand. I'd warn the neighbors too.
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Air Bags
They are not filling these bags of chips up with chips. It's mostly air. What the heck!
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Step Ladder
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. I'm going to sign up with 23andme.
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Gossip
This is the look I give when people talk about me behind my back as you walk away.
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Priorities
Here it is clearly shown that some things are more important than a meal and watching other things are more important than running for your life.
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We Got This
For Pete's sake Susan, slide the seat forward so I can get this in the car.
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Christmas Candles
These Christmas candles need to get approval from the church first. The design needs work.
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I'm Clean
Drugs. Because why else would you vacuum the grass? Don't worry I'm clean.
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Google Safe Search Kids
This is how google safe search for kids work. Imagine their surprise when they see this.
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I'm This Close
This is how close I am to losing it. Any closer and I have to file a claim with my insurance agent.
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Helping Hand
Best friends always lend a helping hand. If you can't find a friend this statue looks pretty handy.
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How To Get Rid of Tan Lines
If you'd like to get rid of tan lines the first thing you need to do is save some money and pull up your pants.
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Urban Underwear Cowboy
It's the urban underwear cowboy. He has little more than boots and a cowboy hat.
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Stuck in the Sewer
Not sure what she was doing in there but she should have known it was going to be a tight fit.
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Separate Bed
Don't get separate beds get a separate bed! Just put a divider down the middle and no more sharing the covers.
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Try Before You Buy Toilet Paper
Finally toilet paper that you can try before you buy. Now all they need to do is setup a toilet.
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No Filming Allowed
No phones allowed at this concert. I guess people just want to do what they are not supposed to.
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Don't Forget Your Receipt
Don't forget your receipt. I think a few customers of forgot their receipt on this ATM.
