hey guys! just chilling..had to work an extra hour it feels so good to be home. but I appreciate my work but yeah I have so much anxiety smoking cigs is the only thing that keeps me calm. its really been more my life savor then anything. but yeah idk I guess this life is about learning lessons. idk.. but yea nothing new happening. watching wwe! I'm so stressed I needed another smoke. I'm just stressed because my life is stressful. my kid doesnt have me in her life that much. plus my schizophrenia bothers me. I get anxiety attacks all the time. I've had it on going for pretty much 5 years straight. my schitzophrenia has been non stop for years. my medications together can lesson each other. so I emailed and asked if they could talk to my psychiatrist and see if we can get on meds that wouldn't do that ya know so I'm stressed I hope for a miracle soon because I can't stand one more episode. I can ignore it for the most part but then there's those days when my anxiety attacks and I just can't stand it anymore. idk what's setting it off.. but idk if anyone else goes through it. but I pray for my normal life back. idk if I'll ever get it again. but I just got so tired but I really don't want to goto bed right now. because I notice if I sleep in I hardly have anxiety attacks. but idk. I do miss waking up at 5 am but feeling those attacks one more time I can't handle it anymore. ya know. I had to tell someone other then my therapist. they always all think its just the imagination and you know I've thought about it.. but idk how to explain it right now. but my anxiety makes me glad to be home.
1 Comment