I'm aggravated because God's not on my side with seeing my kids. there good me and my daughters are forever they dont do anything wrong.. and I prayed for so long to help me with actual money.. idk why I ever thought I was gonna be rich because he ain't doing that for. no really I'm mad at him for letting me down with everything. you know everything is stressful okay its a hassle for me and we shouldn't feel that way about god but thats what im realizing is god sucks.. and I need to talk to people about god and everyone. I need to go see my kids idk what he's preventing me from reuniting with my daughters.. its friggin bullshit.. ya know.. i miss them.. i keep getting this pain feeling and idk what the hell it is.. im tired of being let down. my daughters aren't mentally ill ya know we are completely fine.. it kills me you know I hate being away from them I just want to whoop out 1000 bucks and be like to my kid hey sweetheart I'm on my way on that plane but no god didn't do that for me and them. I dont need to be in heaven in heaven your always in peace and sleeping or something I want to go have fun with my kids. like not all his ideas are great Idc.. he wasted my whole life making me sick and at home all the time and you know he's ruined every single dream I ever had. its always a hassle or I don't feel like going to work but no he doesn't help me achieve in getting a work from home job neither I'm surprised I have my job.. like I have health issues too because of god.. i love him but he is so immature and im tired of acknowledging a man ive never seen.. he hurt me by doing this he knows how much I love them. im so aggravated like everybody shuts me out like ive asked my guardian to help with giving my daughters money I haven't heard in months anything about that the lawyer tried telling me I can't give her money and maybe after my bills are paid then maybe my payee can give them money they friggin leave her to starve to death man. there all friggin wack and I have no back up no cops as my friend my cousin is an Fbi agent and I haven't seen him in years. I have nobody my dad amd brother abandoned me and my kids. and plus my mom's dead. ya know.. yes I have a little money but it don't las6 after I pay my phone and then I need shampoo etc so I smell good like you need that..like my roommates are Nepal they don't go to court you know idk what to do.. I need my kids saved they need husbands or something to survive.. god won't give me the money I have a game that gives pocket cash and idk how long.. it takes a few days to complete.. what if it ends then im back to square one ya know.. i ain't gonna find out til after I work on the 50.. all th3 video apps I run into are scams they go down to change i needed to watch some soaps and make money cuz I thought that was cool and idk.. i try my best getting somewhere in life but I needed to realize I aint gonna make enough to pay my own apartment.. god could easily do that for us and no I have to tell my daughter again no for the millionth time.. i wanted to give her a check every week so she has some money to do her nails and toes etc like a good check ya know.. idk who to talk to but even church is too busy for me. they'd probably be so mad that I'm mad at god.. but I am ya know he's let me down my whole life.. my souls ruined.. idk im sorry to bother you guys about this but ive been holding it in too long ive also been mad at god for giving me schizophrenia the witches in my head piss me off.. and I cant punch them in the face ya know.. and god won't take it away and it abuses me almost everyday. at work I was fine I finally stop seeing shit at work and then it came back then too.. like idk what to do..he wasted almost all these years with these people in my dreams. like I have never had a good dream at all..idk why.. but no don't ever hear god.. the actual god ya know. idk if anyone else thinks how world's work.. i know there's a big guy out there and he probably doesn't give a shit.. because you know idk why he would involve me if he has love affairs ya know.. im sorry to say it.. but the things I get sucks and it pisses me off.. I just want my normal life back and my kids.. a good husband ya know someone who will love us forever idk.. i hate suffering.. god never made anything fair ive been without money for months.. im surprised I got cash now I just feel like those people out there don't really care about me you know ssi will just shut you off and welfare shuts you off ya know they don't do nothing kind for anyone.. idk.. im aggravated these ain't my people.. i don't have any of my loved ones. I never hear from them.. idk if my coworkers love me ya know they could be faking it and talking smack behind my back like they do with everyone else.. idk i do love them but im sensitive you know I don't like anything bad.. idk thats how I can get.. makes me want to leave and disappear but god didn't make me so lucky.. im tired of the battles because what am I really to conquering?. hes not letting me see my kids. so im stuck in new hampshire on welfare.. it sucks. I cant even enjoy the luxury.. i miss my mom too. she was a beautiful mom.. she was the reason I had food ya know.. but thanks for hearing me out.. me and my girls got it don't worry..