well, how is the world? I am having a good morning. just tired. I woke up at 5 am. I woke up all night long on and off so I'm tired. I couldn't sleep when I woke up at 5.. but you know I'm thinking that life will be better. I think good things are coming . hopefully soon. I used to think that life wasn't fair but I'm realizing it is a little fair, but my mom always said if you wait you'll be waiting forever. so just got to keep going. and hopefully the Lord is with me and everyone and we start just getting treated good. ya know. I love my people but they ignore me and they get upset when I ask questions like at work I can't always tell the cheese when the wrapper is off and it just sounds like and looks like there getting aggravated with me. and I think to myself now maybe that's really just how life if maybe we are just going through patterns in life to really find out people and happiness you know. idk. I always liked to be loved by everyone but maybe they don't want that ya know so I've learned that life you have to not wait to find out what happens but to keep moving even if it's your last day to be here ya know. so I just keep moving..I want to be at a job where I'm loved but maybe there not my people. idk. maybe I'm not figuring this out right. but if you wait for things to happen to you to come to you you wait for that person you'll be waiting forever ya know . my opa used to say that my mom used to say basically is what she was saying. it's gonna be mother's day tomorrow and I already know it's gonna be a shitty day. because my mom is in heaven gone and I don't think I'm gonna hear from my kid. she did text me though to let me know she went to prom. I hate it that she's doing it all on her own. I wanted to be there but I just started my job now. maybe I can save up to fly her up. ill try my best she can stay at my brother's house. so idk but she went to prom last night I hope she had a wonderful time. but yeah idk nothing new. haven't gotten my card yet. sigh maybe today idk. or Tuesday. but yeah I think I should just let it go now that everyone ain't happy with me. I really need my real friends though you know. maybe I'm just surrounded by people who aren't for me. I think is what it is. idk... I do love some of my customers there wicked great. ya know maybe there for me but then the work rules are gay.. because I think you can't give numbers but I will do it anyways idk . I mean they didn't tell me I can't hand out my number but yeah that one woman I made friends with she never called or text I gave her my number. it makes me sad ya know. oh well . but yeah I wish I could've gotten my kid the dress. she looked really beautiful she sent me pictures. but yeah I'm just hanging out . I have to work 12 to 4 today. so I'm gonna go and then come home . I don't like going out when I don't have money. soon though I'm gonna go to Walmart.