well my manager isn't working today so i have to call her tomorrow.. sigh.. I gotta figure out which day she is gonna have me take off because I worked 12 to 8 sunday.. so idk.. and then I got to see if I can schedule to work Saturday at a different time because she scheduled me for 3 to 7 and I let her know that I didnt have a ride for the weekends so thats why I need to work the same schedule as my friend.. maybe she thought I could still do that.. I mean my roommate needs some space too ya know.. he was driving me like 5 days and then taking me to do my appointments so thats a lot because I had a lot of appointments the last two months. so idk. I think my doctor is gonna take me off my monthly shot and a few of my other pills.. ill still be on my cholesterol pill and hopefully I'll still be on my anxiety meds unless she's gonna give me one anxiety med. but yeh I have an appointment this month so hopefully she will get me on it this month. idk if ill have to wein off the meds I think ill be alright but I'll see.. i have my eye doctor and then in September I have my pap and my weightloss program to do. this month I have to see my case manager. she called me the last time. I have a lot of appointments usually but hopefully we can slow that down now
. idk i need my glasses tho I accidently dropped my old ones. but yeah I got to take my meds. it's horrible because I have insomnia, schizophrenia, and then I have anxiety.. and my anxiety attacks came back. Basically I dream awake.. the pictures on my mind are playing like a TV you know how you dream idk if you ever noticed where you dream but mine is like in the back to middle in my brain. but it's just playing all day
the meds im 0n just manage. but yeah the people in the picture keep abusing me and it makes me upset and then I get an anxiety attack and it feels like I'm panicking
. it gets harder to breathe my eyes start rolling in the back of my head. i can't concentrate and I get them at work and its just so hard to focus
I tried working through out it I had to sit for about an hour the other night.. idk what to do.. but my psychiatrist wants me to take one Schitz med she said it works really well she wanted to get rid of it completely so im praying for that miracle ya know.. im not hearing voices but the dumb bitches in my brain threaten to bang my man.. even tho I don't have one but in my dream there making me run into them screwing my friends hun ya know and those women Im the Dream are purposely eating shit and idk there really mean but they raped my friends and my kids in the dream. so you know im tired of dealing with this.. i told God to kill the schizophrenia. but yeah its horrible stuff.. but yeah just wanted to reach out. your not alone. im sick too because of that stuff. but hopefully the doctors finally made good medicine to kill it. I really want my life back. but yeah everytime my dreams attack me I get severe anxiety.. it really screws up my shift because it's always happening when I'm at work.
it's like those people are trying to make me lose my job. ya know
. but they might not be real so idk.. but it's disgusting.. but don't worry I have that health issue too.. well gonna make my bed and do laundry after. glad im off today. im gonna play my game.