Brian Falk
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Flash Crash
This is the worst flash crash I've ever seen. These old trading machines are just as good as the new high speed electronic ones.
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Red Nosed Reindeer
When the office party ends at midnight but the real party starts at 10pm.
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Frozen Song
When he pulls away and your box sings him a little grateful song. Pfffft. That frozen song is very popular.
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Reverse Weight Loss
I set out to lose 10lbs this month... only 15 to go! Yay me. I'm going backwards.
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Bad Decisions
This is the look you and your friend give each other when you know you're about to make some regrettable, risky, all-around bad decisions together.
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I Live for Weekends
I live for weekends. Monday morning I look like a train wreck. Saturday morning I'm in heaven.
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Lying In Wait
When you are laying down waiting for him to put the darn thing on so you can commence playtime.
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Waiting for my Phone
Me waiting for my phone to stop ringing so I can use it again.
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The Perfect Comeback
When you think of the perfect comeback but the argument was a month ago.
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I'm Never Drinking Again
Me on Sunday morning: omg I'm so hungover I'm never drinking again. Also Sunday night I'm in bed with a glass of wine.
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How To Feel Beautiful
Feeling ugly? Go chill in Walmart for 2 hours. You'll feel a lot better!
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Auto Repair Bill
Customer states sounds like golfball in trunk in fact there are golfballs in the trunk. Removed golfballs from the trunk.
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Me Accepting Compliments...
This is the perfect representation of me accepting compliments... super uncomfortable!
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Girl Touches My Leg By Accident
This is what happens when a girl touches my leg by accident. My Elmer's glue gets unglued.
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Send Vegans
When you ask a vegan to send you some pics this is what you wind up getting... landscapes with lots of vegetation.
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Tiny Tim
He was so small I had to do this with my mouth. He has a big personality though.
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I Don't Get Attached that Easy
I don't get attached that easy. As soon as the girl says hello I pop the question with a ring.
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"Women Only Date Jerks" Starter Kit
This is your starter kit for "Women Only Date Jerks". It's like women repellent.
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Me Risking Pneumonia
Me risking pneumonia and leaving the house without a coat for the sake of my cute outfit. Good cause!
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Still Warm
When you put on fresh clothes that are still warm from the dryer!
