Good morning, I woke up at 5:15 am. I took a shower, and now I am just hanging out in my room. gonna make my smokes in a little bit and make my lunch. I forgot about class last night. unfortunately I was having a severe anxiety attack again. so, couldn't do it. but yeah I forgot about it too for whatever reason..but yeah I am just bummed out because I can't get a good man. I really wanted to get married. it's been forever since I've been intimate ya know. but yeah their are no finals this is the last week next year my classes are English and critical thinking and problem solving. I hope I pass all my classes lol. I don't know but I got a 100 on my PowerPoint project so I am glad. but yeah anyways nothing new.. just praying for my soulmate because I can't be without him anymore. I wish everything was good ya know.. he's probably with someone else I think and God doesn't want to tell me the truth.. because he's always silent ya know . idk what to do if I ever meet him.. but then again maybe I did... and I can't have him. ya know.. but yeah I've prayed and I prayed for my miracles.. God makes me too much of a soldier facing this world alone.. I feel like I'm just on survival mode all the time. sigh my daughter apologized for not talking to me she's been sick she has the same disease as I do whether it's depression or not. but yeah life does things to you ya know.. you got to keep going and try to overcome it and find your solutions pray to the Lord for your solutions... amen for everybody. but yeah I'm gonna do my homework Thursday again because I had a major anxiety attack and had to lay down all day. it is the worst feelings in the world your airways close gets harder to breathe you freak out Everytime and you have that horrible feeling in your body when it hits it knocks the wind out of me. and if I play music while having one it sounds so much louder and it hurts. but yeah I feel better today my roommate finally got my medication I didn't have any anxiety meds left. but yeah anyways I'm single and looking for the love of my life.. I hope better late then never to get married. there's nothing I want more then him.