having a good day, I was trying to take a nap but oh well it's not happening today. but yeah waiting to eat some lunch. I might eat dinner before I go to work idk yet. might be too close of a time to do that. it's gonna be late when I eat I think. but yeah I'm just hanging out at home was talking with my brother and my friends. I am just bored now because the convos are over.. but yeah idk.. I wish I could have some more friends but I hate it because I wouldn't have any money to really get anything major for them so idk. but it be nice though. but yeah I am just bored at home for right now gonna work later and come home and go to bed. and then I'm working Saturday. don't know yet if I'm working Sunday.. I'll see what happens. probably might be working 5 days a week. I'll check tho idk when there putting it on the schedule. but yeah works a lot of fun..I have fun working with my coworkers and slicing. my brother didn't like working there but I love it. but I'm praying everything will work out. idk what to do for this weekend or the 4th I might be working on the 4th.. I want to have a cook out tho and eat steak tips I just have it in my head making steak tips this year maybe I can marinate it.. it's expensive but it would be a good meal for the 4th. and hamburgers and hot dogs I love it. but yeah I'm not looking forward to mother's day I'ma be sad all day so. I'll probably cry a little idk I'm down because too I can't go see my kids for every holiday I might have to fly her down here and I might not be able to go to my daughters graduation so idk.. it's a shitty life I feel horrible but I'm hoping to get her something else 8 did get her little blanket for her apartment. she can put it on the couch or something. but yeah I wanted to get her a graduation scrap book maybe some gift cards to get fave stores. so I'm gonna do that I think. I hope that makes up for not being able to go I'm just not gonna have the money for Uber and hotel.. I don't make enough I mean I could go for a day with my paycheck and plus my guardian might not let me because of my debts idk.. idk how long I have to wait to see my kid but it's gonna be an amazing day when we get to see each other but she hasnt responded to my text now number so idk what's going on I'm worried it's been like two weeks about two weeks now. so idk what's going on. she's 18 everyone here tells me she's 18.. so.. just giving her her space believe me I'm a momma I text her everyday trying to build our mother daughter relationship.. I was the same way when I was 18 I just wanted to hang out with my friends but oh well I don't want to upset her ya know so.. just let her know though I might not be able to make it to the grad but I'll fly her down soon and she didn't get back to me. so idk. oh well though I love her no matter what. I'll be here when she's ready. but yeah I'm probably gonna be tired this weekend after work so. I'm waiting to find out if I'm working Sunday. I might not be able to go to church so oh well. I hope the Lord understands. I have my little prayer app I pray with that though. so hopefully God forgives me for not being able to make it to church every week. I was thinking to make my schedule a set schedule so every week I'm working the same times and days so I'm gonna see today hopefully my manager will be here. anyways I can't wait to eat my roommates usually make me food. I decided I was just gonna eat there food it's cheaper my roommate doesn't have the money to get cube steaks or steaks so I just eat there food. it's easier. when I get my place I'm gonna get cube steaks though like once a week or a couple times a month I don't have it neither never will. well eventually I'll be a millionaire but I don't even need all that money idk if my guardian will let me get a house.. I might as well pay rent for the rest of my life they'll probably eventually tell me I have a lot of money maybe well they should probably do that if I end up a millionaire I can't drive anymore anyways so I should unless they'll give me more for groceries then idk if I'll be a millionaire. I know I'll probably be hungry sandwiches don't fill me anymore and neither does cereal so I might have to start eating oatmeal and making two dinners for lunch and dinner so that way I'm full. but yeah it sucks because I can't go to school but I love my job so much I'm happy with just being a deli associate. hopefully in 6 years I'll be able to get 20 an hour but again I don't think I'll need all that money but it'll be good if I get that. idk what to do with all that money but I'll see if I can donate to churchs maybe they'll let me buy my brother or best friend tvs or something idk they usually tell me not to give them money so.. idk.. but oh well idk what to say.